Jealousy or Competition?

I'm extremely competitive... like most of my family. Board games with extended family members get pretty intense. It seems only natural for someone to think this way, but I hate being second best. This goes for games, tests, class projects, leadership positions, and sometimes, even my relationship with God. (That is, my relationship with Him verses other people's relationships.) Pretty pathetic right? In some areas yes, but in others, I think its kind of a good thing. 

But when I feel like I'm coming in "second" to someone else for too long, my jealous side begins to come out. There's a girl in my class whose amazing at just about everything. She gets 100s (or higher) on pretty much every single school assignment. She's great at sports. She always seems to know just what to say to guys. She's very popular. She's gorgeous and really sweet. And finally, she loves the Lord and isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes. 

This blog post isn't an attempt to tear her down. I think she's awesome, and I absolutely love her. The problem is that I unconsciously let jealousy boil up inside me. It turns from just a "competition" to unhealthy jealousy towards her. I end up feeling like if I haven't "beat" her, or become like her, than I've failed somehow. It's a ridiculous way of thinking. I'm praying that God will help me. I don't know if I should ever tell her about it, because what she doesn't know won't hurt her right? I'm not sure. 

It doesn't really matter right now though. I'm just trying to find a balance between that fun, competitive side of me that always wants to be the best and the hateful, jealous side of me that believes I'll never be good enough. 'Cause when I put myself in her shoes, I wonder how many other girls treat her like she's 'so much better' than them. I wonder how many people avoid her simply because they think that they're not good enough next to her. I wonder how much that must hurt...

God, don't let me be just another person who complains and wishes she was her. Please let me be someone whose okay with me, so that I can be her friend, not her opponent.