I'm just going to admit it... I'm a nerd.

Well, I guess that depends on you're definition. I'm not "boringly studious" or "extremely lacking in social skills", I just have certain... nerdy qualities (;

But I've just found myself laughing about how people call just about anyone who is actually interested in an academic subject a "nerd". So, here's my top ten reasons for calling myself one. You decide. (:

Top Ten Reasons Why I'm A Nerd:

10. I actually enjoyed reading Shakespeare's King Henry V.

9. I keep the poetry books I've used in middle school simply because I enjoy reading the poems in them... for fun... (Robert Frost is my all time favorite poet.) 

8. I write, journal, and blog... for fun...

7. I read the Wall Street Journal on a regular basis. And I try, (to the best of my ability), to keep up with world news and US politics.

6. We're reading a book in my history class called The Balkan Ghosts. The majority of the kids in my class either despise reading it, can't understand it, or despise reading it so much they refuse to try to understand it. I'm enjoying reading it...

5. I'm part of a writing critique group near my home. The majority of the people there are at least 30 years older than me, but I still go because I love the critiques so much.

4. I am totally an English person, but I think Chemistry is extremely fascinating.

3. I have a book called "The Quotable Lewis." It is 651 pages long, and it contains C. S. Lewis' quotes in alphabetical order on different subjects.

2. In my mind, papers and test grades are my own personal competition. I challenge myself to get an A on everything, and since I don't always get A's, I am constantly pushing myself to ask more questions, study harder, and do better.

1. My goal by the time I graduate is to be in a place where I have the possible opportunity of being accepted into an Ivy League school. It's a huge goal, one that I may not be able to achieve, but it's what I'm aiming for by the end of my four high school years.


So those are the top ten reasons I call myself a "nerd". But that's only one side of me (; I'm in love with my Savior Jesus Christ, I am passionate about serving Him. I'm passionate about photography and music, specifically acoustic guitar. I'm extremely interested in Sign Language, (something I actually don't consider nerdy). I love shoes, make-up, and shopping. I love sports and could be good at a lot of them if I actually worked at it... I just have chosen not too... and to be lazy. So I'm no good at most sports(;

A lot of people would say I'm quiet when you first meet me, but I doubt many would say I'm not social. I love my friends, they're my extended family. And they love me even with the nerdy things I can sometimes say and do. haha (:

"I haven't talked to you, in... forever!"

That's how I feel about this blog. lol It's the home page on my computer, so it's the first thing I see every time I get on the internet. I've tried to write about 10 different times, but lost interest after the first few sentences.

So basically, since I last posted... we had homecoming at my school, I went with a friend of mine. I invited him to come as my date. I had a ton of fun(:

But then the week after I got sick. I've been sick for three days now. I feel awful. But it's probably good. These past couple of weeks have been exhausting! Like all the drama with my family lately, and all the stress of homecoming, I needed an excuse to sleep for three days straight haha

I Can Barely Breathe...

There's no other way to describe it. I came home today from school feeling like I couldn't breathe. Homecoming is in a couple of weeks, and all day I hear, "Oh I'm going with so and so" or "I'm gonna ask so and so to go with me." Most of Chemistry today consisted of a group of friends discussing where they would all go to eat before the dance. I don't hold anything against them, since they don't even know me, but it's hard to explain how lonely I felt for that hour. 

It's not even just that, I feel invisible at school. I came home and locked myself in my room. I cried and told God exactly how I felt.

"I'm sick and tired of being invisible. I hate who they think I am. I hate my timid, serious, almost anti-social label. They don't realize they've given me it, but they have. I see it and feel it in almost all of the conversations I have with my classmates. Especially with the guys. Why do I have to be invisible?"

What am I supposed to do? I feel like I'm living a game of hide and seek. I could cry. And I have many, many times.

I talked to my best friend not too long ago, and I felt much better. I'm not the only one who feels alone sometimes. 

God, I know this somehow works into the plan you have for my life, but why do I have to feel this way? Why do I have to feel insignificant, see through, and invisible? 

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1 Well, at least I know there's always Someone who notices me(: 

This Paper is Officially Scaring Me.

Bulfinch's Mythology

Look at this! Look at this!! Of course the section I'm using is at the very back, but still, it's scary looking. I'm working (or, was working on) an English paper that's due after our Christmas break. It's not a complicated paper, just takes a while to write.

I'll admit, I've been procrastinating, but at least I won't be doing it the night before. I had to watch Monty Python's Holy Grail for this assignment, lol, it was sooo dumb. But very funny!

I also had to watch Disney's the Sword in the Stone. Please forgive me if your a fan of it, but it was the most boring Disney movie I've ever watched. Ugh. Now I just have to read through the Bulfinch version of King Arthur and do some compare and contrasting. Alright, enough stalling, I've got to go work on it. Hope I survive.