Just Like Cinderella... Well, Not Really.

I'd have to say that out of all the Disney "princess" movies, Mulan is my favorite. It's different than most of the Disney fairytales. Hmm, let me think of the typical Disney princess... gentle, sweet- (like, all the animals dance and sing with her kinda thing), elegant, soft, mild, graceful, timid, and in need of being rescued. 

They're the picture of beauty. Right? Like angels come down to Earth, and the prince always falls for her. 

But in Mulan, she's still beautiful, but she's clumsy, forgetful, and often late. She's too outspoken when it comes to standing up for her family or for herself. She's brave and daring enough to take her father's place in the war. She knows she could be killed, yet she's strong enough to take the risk. In the end, through her cleverness, Mulan saves all of China. She is even offered a position as the Emperor's adviser. In reality she should have been killed, because what she did was unthinkable for a woman. She's in no need of being rescued, rather she's the one doing the rescuing. 

The captain of the army falls in love with her, not for her "gentleness" or "gracefulness," but for her cleverness, her ability to speak her mind, her courage, and her strength. 

She's unique.

That's probably why Mulan my favorite Disney movie, 'cause I can relate to her much more than I can relate to a 'perfect princess' character like Cinderella. 

Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

You probably won't understand this.

Still I hope it makes a little sense, 

Even though you'll think I'm talking about someone else, 

I hope you figure this out, 

I'm so proud of you.

I'm proud that you are taking a chance, and being brave.  

No Matter What

I'm running back to Your promises one more time.
Lord, that's all I can hold on to...
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises You.
Before heartache can ever touch my life,
It has to go through Your hands
And even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why...

No matter what, I'm gonna love You
No matter what I'm gonna need You
I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain,
But if not, if not I'll still trust You no matter what.

Take A Deep Breath

I know I talk about not being a hopeless romantic, daydreaming, wishing on a shooting star, kind of teenage girl. I may not be that old, but I'm old enough to know that those people only do really well in the movies. Still, I love that character. Probably because just as I'm secretly hoping against hope that their wishes come true and their questions get answered, I'm doing the same for myself...

I have so many questions that I want answers for.

Why is high school so stressful? Why can't I trust someone without them eventually hurting me? Why does my heart get broken so often? Why don't I understand some of my classes? Why does life move so fast? What college should I go to? Who will I meet? Will I fall in love? What's my career going to be? In publishing? As a screen writer? An author? A teacher? Will I get married? Where will I live? Will I make it on my own? What if I'm not good enough? What if I make a major mistake? What if... what if... what if...

Time to take a deep breath and face each day as it comes.

Unexpected

"Wow, you aren't like most teenagers."

That's a common remark made by my parents friends or other adults I run into. It's meant to be a compliment; usually followed by them saying that I'm smarter, more mature, or better behaved than most teens. I try to take it as a compliment, but honestly, it's really annoying. I mean come on, you can compliment me without it being a comparison to my supposedly idiotic and immature peers.

You could say that I'm exaggerating things, but then... so are you. Adults are just as extremely obsessed with their iPhones, Macbooks, and iPads as teenagers. You go on and on about how uneducated and problematic my generation is- not to be rude or anything, but your generation raised us. If we are given lower expectations, we sink to that level. If we are given higher expectations, we rise to them. It's your choice as to what you decide to expect from us. Which would you prefer?

Blessings By Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching(s) of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Fearless

Fear. Fear of the unloveable side of ourselves. Why does it control us? It eats away at our hearts, all the while saying, "Don't let them see this." Because who knows? It could all fall apart in an instant. People could walk out on you, abandon you, laugh at you, or ruin that flawless reputation you've tried so hard to create.

They say face your fears. They say be strong. But you can't stand up to yourself. You can't simply look in the mirror, shake your head, and say, "I've had enough of this nonsense!" We long for the day when our "good self," or our "true self," will finally break free from that unloveable, messed up, sinful side of ourselves. It's never going to happen. It's a part of us that isn't going away in this lifetime. So at some point, we have to stop fearing it.

If we stop fearing it, then what? We surely don't accept it! Do we...? I think at some point, you do have to accept that unloveable side. You shouldn't encourage it, or focus on it, or continue to act on it, but you do have to accept that you will never be perfect. Or else you'll hate yourself. Because if you fear that side of you, or you are trying to rid yourself of it for good- you can walk around receiving correction, facing your fears, praising God all you want, but at the end of the day, you'll still perceive yourself as a failure. That truly "good" version of you is still trapped within the "bad" version of you.

Our "good" self, does not exist apart from our "bad" self. We're all a great big mess. I have accepted that mixed up mess that presents itself under my name. At the end of each day, I can feel satisfied with the good side of me that showed through, and not hate myself for the mistakes I made.

When I look in the mirror, I don't see a half finished construction project. I see an unloveable person, who is truly loved. I see a flawed face, that is thought of as beautiful. I see an imperfect girl, who is believed in. And when I realize that all I can do is my best to live for God, that I cannot separate once and for all the good and the bad, and that I am forgiven just as I am... I become the girl with many fears, who is fearless.

A Quote To Describe My Life

"Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can- all of them make me laugh."
                                 
                                            -W. H. Auden


This is so true of all of my friends. They can always find a way to make me laugh. It's one of the many reasons why I love them so much (: