Being Thankful: Day #29

Day #29

I'm thankful that today is almost over.

Being Thankful: Day #28

Day #28

I'm thankful for family movie nights (:

Being Thankful: Day #27

Day #27

I'm thankful that as far as the guys go at my school, I really don't care if they're gonna "like" me or not. Who wants to be so caught up with all that that you don't always notice the fun you could be having with other friends?

Being Thankful: Day #26

Day #26

I'm thankful for those few days when it's all about me :)

Being Thankful: Day #25

Day #25

I'm thankful that I'm able to go shopping with my Grandma :)

Thank You Lady Antebellum!

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here, anyway?
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

One day you will
Oh one day you will

Being Thankful: Day #24

Day #24

Thankful for family board game competitions (;

Being Thankful: Day #23

Day #23

I'm thankful for my sweet kitten. She's stupid, but adorable.

Being Thankful: Day #21

Day #21

I'm thankful for my sister :)

Being Thankful: Day #20

Day #20

Thankful for hope. Hope that there's a purpose and some kind of beauty behind all of the brokenness in this family of mine.

Being Thankful: Day #19

Day #19

Today I'm thankful that my uncle is getting married; I'm very happy for him.

Being Thankful: Day #18

Day #18

I'm thankful for laughter. It gets me through so much :)

Being Thankful: Day #17

Day #17

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving break!

Jealousy or Competition?

I'm extremely competitive... like most of my family. Board games with extended family members get pretty intense. It seems only natural for someone to think this way, but I hate being second best. This goes for games, tests, class projects, leadership positions, and sometimes, even my relationship with God. (That is, my relationship with Him verses other people's relationships.) Pretty pathetic right? In some areas yes, but in others, I think its kind of a good thing. 

But when I feel like I'm coming in "second" to someone else for too long, my jealous side begins to come out. There's a girl in my class whose amazing at just about everything. She gets 100s (or higher) on pretty much every single school assignment. She's great at sports. She always seems to know just what to say to guys. She's very popular. She's gorgeous and really sweet. And finally, she loves the Lord and isn't afraid to stand up for what she believes. 

This blog post isn't an attempt to tear her down. I think she's awesome, and I absolutely love her. The problem is that I unconsciously let jealousy boil up inside me. It turns from just a "competition" to unhealthy jealousy towards her. I end up feeling like if I haven't "beat" her, or become like her, than I've failed somehow. It's a ridiculous way of thinking. I'm praying that God will help me. I don't know if I should ever tell her about it, because what she doesn't know won't hurt her right? I'm not sure. 

It doesn't really matter right now though. I'm just trying to find a balance between that fun, competitive side of me that always wants to be the best and the hateful, jealous side of me that believes I'll never be good enough. 'Cause when I put myself in her shoes, I wonder how many other girls treat her like she's 'so much better' than them. I wonder how many people avoid her simply because they think that they're not good enough next to her. I wonder how much that must hurt...

God, don't let me be just another person who complains and wishes she was her. Please let me be someone whose okay with me, so that I can be her friend, not her opponent. 

Being Thankful: Day #16

Day #16

I'm thankful for my sweet aunt.

Being Thankful: Day #15

Day #15

I'm thankful for Jehovah Rapha- "Our God is Healer."

Being Thankful: Day #14

Day #14

I'm thankful that my family is so patient with me, even when I'm a total pain.

Photography Is My Life

Being Thankful: Day #13

Day #13

I'm thankful for Nikons and awesome friends.

Being Thankful: Day #12

Day #12

I'm thankful for the people in my life who really understand me.

Being Thankful: Day #11

Day #11

I can't even begin to say just how thankful I am for my high school(:

Being Thankful: Day #10

I guess I forgot to do this the other day...

Day #10

I'm thankful that I have a mom who will hang out with me, take me on last-minute shopping trips, and listen to all the drama I deal with at school.

Being Thankful: Day #9

Day #9

I'm thankful for the people in my life who speak positively, even while I'm giving it my all to be as negative as possible.

Being Thankful: Day #8

Day #8

I'm thankful for those few little moments when I feel noticed. Today I got to joke with two senior guys and one senior girl about something totally silly and meaningless. At school even though I have great friends I don't feel that way alot, so it made my whole day to have something so ridiculous let me, for a split second, feel noticed.

Being Thankful: Day #7

Day #7

I'm thankful that even though I struggle with hearing God's voice in my life, there are times and situations where His voice is impossible to miss.

Hunter Hayes- "Everybody's Got Somebody But Me"

This song isn't an example of me whining again, it's just a song that makes me laugh because, well, I can sorta relate(;


"I wish the couple on the corner would just get a room
Seems like everyone around me is on their honey moon
I'd love to take a pin to a heart shaped balloon
Everybody's got somebody but me

Well I don't know how I landed on this movie set
It's like a casting call for 'Romeo and Juliet'
I never would have noticed if we'd never met
But everybody's got somebody but me

And I miss you
Without you I just don't fit in
I know we're through
But I'm wishing we'd try it again

I hear love songs playing on the radio
People slow dancing everywhere I go
Well I'm a good slow dancer but you'd never know
'Cause everybody's got somebody but me

Everybody's got somebody but me

And I miss you
'Cause without you I don't fit in
I know we're through
But I'm wishing we'd try it again

Sitting here lonely at a table for two
Watching lovers being lovers in the corner booth
Seems like even Cupid don't know what to do
Everybody's got someone but me

And I don't know if I'll ever find another you

But everybody's got somebody but me." 

Being Thankful: Day #6

Day #6

I'm thankful for Country music.

Being Thankful: Day #5

Day #5

I'm thankful that I don't have a boyfriend. Kind of an odd thing to be thankful for, you know, being a teenage girl. But even though I wish just the opposite sometimes, it's really so much better when I look at the bigger picture. The one where high school isn't my whole life(:

Being Thankful: Day #4

Day #4

Three things stand out today that I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my favorite day of the week, Friday; for family dinners, and oh yeah, A. A. Milne(:

Being Thankful: Day #3

Day #3

I'm thankful for extremely forgiving teachers. From sweet Spanish teachers, to the Teacher who knows me better than I know myself.

One of Those Days

Today has been, well, just one of those days.

It started as one of those days where I would really like to wear sweatpants and a t-shirt all day. One of those days where I would love to say, "Sorry world! I'm not dealing with you today!" One of those days I say some bad words to my alarm clock...

Today turned into one of those days where I'm beyond grateful that I won't be in high school forever. Now I'm home, and all I want is to curl up by my fireplace with a big blanket, and some hot chocolate. I feel like maybe then I'll be protected from this unfair world. What can I say? Sometimes a girl just needs to drink some hot chocolate to feel better. Today hasn't been unusually painful, just... "off"...

A day where I find myself feeling more alone with other people than by myself. A day filled with little things I take a little too personally. A day that was just annoying enough, just exhausting enough, and just frustrating enough, for me to enjoy seeing it end. Thank God for hot chocolate.

Being Thankful: Day #2

Day #2

I'm thankful that even when life gets rough, I have a few really great people I can depend on, and a God who is bigger than all of my problems.

Being Thankful: Day #1

This is something that God has laid on my heart to do. I want come up with one specific thing every day that I am thankful for. To keep me accountable, I'll post my "being thankful" thoughts on here everyday. I intend to do this on my actual blog until the end of November, but hopefully on my own at least until December. If your interested in doing this too, feel free to comment with your own "being thankful" thoughts.

Day #1-

I'm thankful God that you hold everything together, so that I don't have to worry about keeping everything from falling apart. (Colossians 1:17)

My Life.... According to Winnie the Pooh

"Ah! I gotta get help! Oh wait... I am the help!" -Piglet

I may be a sophomore, but I still love Winnie the Pooh more than words can describe. The characters are so adorable! My favorite character is Piglet because he reminds me the most of me. He's much more timid and shy than the other characters, and sometimes is overlooked. But yet, he always seems to do most, if not all, of the work when the character's are pulled into one of Rabbit's many projects, and he typically proves his worth by being brave. The quote I wrote above is from the Winnie the Pooh movie that just came out. The rest of his friend's have fallen into a ditch and he has to somehow get them out. He runs off but gets scared and shouts out, "I gotta get help!" But then he realizes, "Oh wait, I am the help!" It's a cute scene that describes me a little too well. 

When I'm struggling with something, whether it's socially, spiritually, or just with school, I immediately want help. But I always come to the conclusion that I am the only person I know who will help me. 

Wait, let me rephrase that- I'm the only person I know who will want to help me. Of course I know people who would help me, but I always feel like, unless they come up to me on their own, that I am a burden for them. 

That's probably the biggest lie that's been passed down to me (unintentionally) through my extended family. That I'm just another burden. No one's ever said that to me, but when the vast majority of the things I say get blown off, I get the message. "It's too much work for me to handle you right now, maybe some other time." 

This isn't something I struggle with a lot. Most of the time I shrug it off and move on because well, "that's just how my family is." Every now and then though, like when I occasionally watch Winnie the Pooh, I see little Piglet and I think about this again. He wants help, but proves he's capable of taking care of himself. Something I try so hard to do.