"Do you ever feel like you've become the worst version of yourself?" -You've Got Mail
I love this quote... mainly because it seems to fit me right now. Today, I saw myself in the mirror, and I thought, "You look the same way you did in middle school, you look the same way you did at your old highschool. You're the same girl, nothing has changed! Who are you trying to kid? Stop putting on this 'fake' version of yourself!"
That lie stuck with me all day. Everything I did, everything I said, everything I thought was shadowed by that wicked lie, "You haven't changed a bit! You're fake..."
So I did the only thing I knew how to do- I prayed. But I wasn't sincere. Honestly, I felt sorry for myself. I know that I am not the same girl I once was. But I also know that I'm not perfect. I'm gonna screw up, and today I did just that. I let fear hold me back. I knew how I should act in a certain situation, but I deliberately acted a different way. I'm sorry Abba, I let you down. But I know you still love me. You forgive me. And I can never thank you enough for that.
The devil may lie to me, he may tell me that I'm the same girl that I was, that I am fake, terrified, unloved, and invisible. I refuse to believe it! I will NOT allow the devil to take away what my Abba has given me this past semester- courage, faith, trust, and most importantly, His love! I will NOT allow him to convince me that I am fake, terrified, unloved, or invisible! Abba's love is my safety net. Even when others let me down, (or I think they've let me down), my Abba is still there for me.
"And by Him we cry, "Abba, Father!" Romans 8:15
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